Assalamulaikum wrt wbt...
1. To whom it may concern...
2. First of all, let me say that I really miss you so much...
3. What ever you think of me, just remember, when I do something, there must be a reason...
4. Now that is out of my chest, let me tell you what is happening to me right now...
5. As I mention a few days ago, one of my staff husband pass away in the Hospital. It has been a while I been to the hospital. I will try to avoid going there for a special reasons...
6. I been in the ward for many times in my life. As I was there, it struck to me that, the doctor do not know what is happening. It normal, as I was imagine that the doctor has to look into, maybe, 100 patient a day that can make him a little bit tired. It happened to my late father, he told me that the doctor just test him many time but still cannot find anything wrong. This lead to his death on 16 September 1999. And that is the reason why my family never celebrate that day. Ever.
7. I would like to take note that, I really appreciate your gesture regarding the trip that you would take in a near future. Really I wish I can go with you. BUT you already know my answer. I wish I can be the man that you always wants me to be. I really am. Truth, I wish I can be him to. BUT I am who I am.
8. People says that 40th is the time we make changes in our life. I am in a junction on what I really want to be. Again my reasons will be back to my family. I cannot ignore them. All I do now is for my family.
9. Frankly I am lost now. When people asked me what is your target for the next 5 years. I they asked me 2 years ago, I will proudly says that I want to become a business man. But now, I don't know.
10. Do you know that Dato' Vida ages is closer to my age? Did you know that my friends, my junior, have their own plans? Did you know, my college friend is taking his PHD as I am writing this entry? Did you know my cousin had another baby last month? Thinking of it make me felt that I am a loser.
11. All this thinking come to me while I say my friend's husband lay down in a casket in the church here in Bahrain. Why all the person talk about his beautiful life, I asked myself, "What I have achieve in my life?"
12. In the end, I felt empty.
13.To those whom may concern, I am sorry ...... I hope all you dreams came true. As for me, I am still in the cross road in my life.
14. Happy Eid Al Adha to you my love one. Take care.
Mohd Aderin Azi Mohd Uzir
Bahrain 2015-2017
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